ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
