Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Randomize
