remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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