i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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