Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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