im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize