I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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