DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
