She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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