I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
