All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude i'm inner monologue high
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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