Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
