man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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