Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
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She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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