somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
