They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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