you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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