I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
