He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
