I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize