I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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