there's paper in my vomit.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
