8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
