So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
