Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
