Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
