i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
