So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
