My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
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You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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