Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
