Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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