You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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