I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
