I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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