Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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