And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
