Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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