You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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