My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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