I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize