I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
