The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
