The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
