You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
