I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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