I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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