somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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