when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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