That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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