If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
