Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
COCAINE IS GR8
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
