Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Who died my cat blue again?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
