If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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