am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You can't special order awesome
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
