She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize