I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
