and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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