I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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