The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
