hell yes lets make some ravioli
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
